Shrimp cocktail, anyone?

Nothing delights me more than a perfectly delicious shrimp cocktail. So long as Chris isn't around with his raving shellfish allergy, that could really hit the spot.

Something that does not delight me is when a shrimp cocktail party goes on outside of my vehicle late at night. Yeah, that happened. I wake up, get ready for work, stumble out to my car and peer down at the asphalt. What do I see at that early morning hour?

Five bitten off shrimp tails, that's what. All in a row. Someone had a very delectable midnight snack last night and I wasn't invited. My car might have been, or perhaps they were using it as a napkin, who knows? All I know is that I was not present, someone ate shrimp cocktail in a parking lot, and they left their evidence behind to tease me.

P.S.
I did not see signs of sauce, detracting from the awesomeness.

Once I got to work it wasn't much better, and I learned that perhaps I'm being punished for having such good taste in food. People keep leaving traces behind. My desk had traces of cookie strewn across the way. I smelled a hint of peanut butter and chocolate in their crumblings, but since they were, in fact, merely crumblings... it's hard to say how accurate that analysis is. Regardless, it was cold... both the crumblies and the intent to leave me wanting cookies.

Also, who was EATING at my DESK?!?! That is MY DESK! The next logical step is to install a nanny cam. Where, might you ask? Why, behind the Edward Cullen Twilight poster of course! I am no mere investigator; nay, I am a literary investigator, which means I must attain cruel irony in everything that I do. Therefore a nanny cam is best suited behind the eyes of an illogical mystical creature that stalks his girlfriend and watches her sleep. You're next, cookie monster, because Edward (i.e. nanny cam) never sleeps.

Sorry to disappoint you, but those were the only two strange instances with food for the day. I know what you're thinking, if I were a REAL literary investigator, I would have pulled a "rules of three" and had a third occasion where crumblings and cocktail flippers interrupted my morning. But I'm a rule breaker....

.... and it just didn't happen again. Bite me.