Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Obviously I've been down lately, so the idea of being sarcastic and snarky was not appealing for quite a while... leaving me very little desire to post anything here.... but I knew, one day, something would happen that would put me over the edge... something so ridiculous and terrible that I wouldn't be able to help myself from sharing the story with the world. that story happened while I was in Florida on Friday.I was out with my ladies, dancing and what have you, when I discover I'm parched and could really use a break from the noise/dancing/scummies. Luckily for me, we were at a locale in Ocala where a few bars are actually connected (and themed!) so you can walk among them without going outside. We were in the club/ho area, so I decided to go to the rodeo side for some softer music and h2o. I should preface this by saying that I was wearing a wristband for free entry, and unless I forked over $10 at the door for the ladies-drink-free-all-night deal, I would have to pay as I go. I elected to do the latter. I approached the bartender and it went something like this: Me: Three waters, please.Mean Bartender Lady: That will be $7.50.Me: *Confused face*
No, three WATERS.MBL: Bottled water is $2.50.Me: No, not bottled water. Just water. From your squirt gun. Into that cup right there. MBL: I can't give you water. You don't have the ladies night wristband.Me: I just want water.MBL: I can't help you. There's a machine over there.Peeved and confused, I told my friend Beth (who did have the glorified blue "ladies night" wristband) about the situation and asked that she attempt to get water. Beth: One water, please.MBL: I can't help you at this end of the bar. Ladies night drinks get taken care of at that end of the bar.Beth: .................................. ok.Beth (at other end of bar which is literally only three feet to her right): One water, please. Mean Bartender Man: Bottled water is not included in ladies night.(yes, you read that right. $7 and $10 alcohol is included. bottled water? even the free kind? no way.)Beth: No, not bottled. I just want water. MBM: It will be $1 extra. You don't have a cup.Beth: I have to buy a cup for water?MBM: You're supposed to keep your cup.Beth and I are angry. But at this point I'm also so thirsty that I'm afraid I might pass out right there from heat stroke. In retrospect, perhaps I should have let that happen and then I could have sued this place for THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS YOU MEAN BARTENDERS. So I traveled over to the vending machine that MBL pointed me to and I paid $2.50 for a bottle of water, and not one of those full-size ones either... the really ratty small ones with the weak, crunchy plastic. But this story is far from over.I get back to my corner seat on a barstool with my friends and suck down half the bottle in one gulp. I set it down to regain my breath. I tell a joke. I laugh at my own joke. I look back at the table. Me (to Beth, or whoever will hear my cry): Um, my water.... is gone.Beth: What?Me: I think someone stole my water.Beth: Are you serious?Me: My water............ is not here.Beth: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. At this point I really want to curl up in to a fetal position, suck my thumb, and just cry it out. I really do. Instead flames come out of my ears (Beth's too), my eyes go black and I turn into Janazilla.ME: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. OH, SURPRISE SURPRISE. Water is such a hot commodity in this POS place that people are STEALING IT LIKE PRECIOUS PAINTINGS. Beth: This should be illegal! Is this illegal? It should be illegal!!!Rachel (another friend in company who is now aware of situation): This is the land of Disney and Mickey Mouse! Disney lets people bring water, why don't your??!?!?! Me: I'm outraged. I'm really quite mad.Beth: I am too.Me: *lip quivers*
I'd like to go home now.fin.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
I haven't posted anything in a very long time, and I'm not likely to return to the snark today. My father passed away on June 6 after a battle with a brain tumor. I'm going to miss him every day, but it feels good to remember all the fun times we had... So for no other reason than to make myself feel happier/better, I'd like to share some photos from the past few years that we had together. Some of them are from our travels to Florence, Venice and Paris. Others are from U of M football Saturdays and my eventual graduation, as well as dinner parties and silly moments.