Sunday, January 17, 2010

the vino goes down and the awards continue to go out

samual l. jackson is the coolest mofo around. he's here in harry potter's spectacles to present a clip of inglorious basterds. he's also presenting sophia loren. "a real, live movie star" harrison ford doesn't look comfortable giving her a standing ovation just for existing. but then again, he was slurring his words earlier.

sophia is old and is also wearing harry potter's glasses to present best foreign language film. baaria (italy), broken embraces (spain), the maid (chile... this one is going to win), a prophet (france), the white ribbon (germany). and the winner is... the white ribbon. well, ok. they got token points for being german and doing a world war one movie i think. they obviously weren't expecting that because this director was sitting WAYYYY in the back. the cue music was basically playing while he was still making his way to the stage. his speech was sweet. he seems like a very sweet german man. oooo.. token show of governor shwarzenegger. looking dapper and political AT THE SAME TIME.

amy pouler and some dude presenting some award. oh ok it's best series drama... this is a big one that i actually care about. big love, dexter (given the momentum, this might win), house (PLEASE WIN SOMETHINGGGG), MAD MEN (OMG I LOVE YOU MOAR), true blood (vamps <3). and the golden globe goes to... Mad Men! and Jon Hamm's beard is FAMOUS. so is his penis. i'm very happy about this obviously. my season three will be arriving in march. her boobs are HUUUUUUUGE!!!! <---that right there about the boobage was chris in awe of the actress that plays joan (the red head). he typed it. i didn't. she is the most curvacious woman in hollywood. even more so than beyonce. she is so beautiful and she looks great tonight in a nice little peach/champagne number.

designer chloe wins as supporting or non-supporting actress in a mini series or something... id on't remember the category. it's for big love.

halle barry looks stunny as usual. best supporting actor in a motion picture nominees matt damon, woody harrelson, christopher plummer, stanley tucci, christolph waltz (won the critics choice award). yup, he (christolph waltz) wins for his play in inglorious basterds. i'll back this. he played an awesome german character.

DUDE THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I'VE SEEN THIS "MINOR BRUISE IS TOTALLY SERIOUS" COMMERCIAL FOR LOCAL 4 NEWS. THOSE HEAD BRUISE BUMPS ARE GOING TO KILL YOUR BABY, AND THEN YOU.

okie dokie it looks like robert deniro and leonardo dicaprio are here to honor martin scorcese for his movie legacy. ummm, wow that's... hmmm.. ok. deniro just made a porno reference.. he just awkwardly compared scorcese to someone that has sex with film stock. cue leo on the more serious notes. leo is basically scorcese's adopted son. wow. sometimes i forget how distinctive scorcese's voice really is. and how short he is. wow. is he even 5 feet tall? i mean deniro isn't a tall guy...

scorcese reminds us all that film is both a form of entertainment AND and art, and that the artform is a way to document our histories, our feelings, our thoughts and our hearts. it was a cute speech. the fact of the matter is... scorcese is a great director (who albeit overuses the voiceover technique), but i didn't fully appreciate him until i studied film in college on a more detailed scale. i'm glad he's getting recognition because it took him WAY too long to win that oscar award.

jodie foster looks AWESOME. she's presenting the clip for The Hurt Locker. i never saw this. i'm going to rent it immediately. it didn't come to any theaters near me. boo.

gervais is now relying on his publicly drinking alcohol to be funny. i'm getting disappointed. oh wait. nope, he saved it with a politically incorrect joke about drunken mel gibson. god i love him. he's presenting director... the hurt locker, avatar, invictus, up in the air, inglorious basterds. and the golden globe goes to... james cameron for avatar. LOL. WOW. THERE IS NO WAY QUENTIN TARANTINO DOESN'T WANT TO KILL HIMSELF. but come onnnnn guys he spent like 5 YEARS ON THIS MOVIE. awwww... he said kathryn should've won it (the hurt locker). that's really sweet considering she's his ex-wife. he basically thanks all his CGI, 3D and digital creators. oh and he thanks zoe saldana and sigourney and sam. he now thanks his second wife for standing by him and being his heart. oh snap kathryn!

keither sutherland and 13 from house are presenting best tv series comedy or musical. noms are 30 rock, entourage, glee, modern family, the office. and the winner is glee. HOLY shit really?! man i love glee. i just bought season 1 and watched it in a day. tina fey is not happy. whatever. 30 rock has already won like 8,000 awards. glee is hilarious... mostly because of that really tall woman that plays with the hot dog in "role models." awww... the producer/director just said "this is for anyone and everyone who ever got a wedgie in high school." eat it, fey.

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