I can't freaking wait for the final two movies. I also attended the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Universal Studios yesterday and it was both epic and emotional. More to come on that in the near future.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Bars without free water: Fail
Obviously I've been down lately, so the idea of being sarcastic and snarky was not appealing for quite a while... leaving me very little desire to post anything here.
... but I knew, one day, something would happen that would put me over the edge... something so ridiculous and terrible that I wouldn't be able to help myself from sharing the story with the world. that story happened while I was in Florida on Friday.I was out with my ladies, dancing and what have you, when I discover I'm parched and could really use a break from the noise/dancing/scummies. Luckily for me, we were at a locale in Ocala where a few bars are actually connected (and themed!) so you can walk among them without going outside. We were in the club/ho area, so I decided to go to the rodeo side for some softer music and h2o. I should preface this by saying that I was wearing a wristband for free entry, and unless I forked over $10 at the door for the ladies-drink-free-all-night deal, I would have to pay as I go. I elected to do the latter. I approached the bartender and it went something like this: Me: Three waters, please.Mean Bartender Lady: That will be $7.50.Me: *Confused face*No, three WATERS.MBL: Bottled water is $2.50.Me: No, not bottled water. Just water. From your squirt gun. Into that cup right there. MBL: I can't give you water. You don't have the ladies night wristband.Me: I just want water.MBL: I can't help you. There's a machine over there.Peeved and confused, I told my friend Beth (who did have the glorified blue "ladies night" wristband) about the situation and asked that she attempt to get water. Beth: One water, please.MBL: I can't help you at this end of the bar. Ladies night drinks get taken care of at that end of the bar.Beth: .................................. ok.Beth (at other end of bar which is literally only three feet to her right): One water, please. Mean Bartender Man: Bottled water is not included in ladies night.(yes, you read that right. $7 and $10 alcohol is included. bottled water? even the free kind? no way.)Beth: No, not bottled. I just want water. MBM: It will be $1 extra. You don't have a cup.Beth: I have to buy a cup for water?MBM: You're supposed to keep your cup.Beth and I are angry. But at this point I'm also so thirsty that I'm afraid I might pass out right there from heat stroke. In retrospect, perhaps I should have let that happen and then I could have sued this place for THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS YOU MEAN BARTENDERS. So I traveled over to the vending machine that MBL pointed me to and I paid $2.50 for a bottle of water, and not one of those full-size ones either... the really ratty small ones with the weak, crunchy plastic. But this story is far from over.I get back to my corner seat on a barstool with my friends and suck down half the bottle in one gulp. I set it down to regain my breath. I tell a joke. I laugh at my own joke. I look back at the table. Me (to Beth, or whoever will hear my cry): Um, my water.... is gone.Beth: What?Me: I think someone stole my water.Beth: Are you serious?Me: My water............ is not here.Beth: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. At this point I really want to curl up in to a fetal position, suck my thumb, and just cry it out. I really do. Instead flames come out of my ears (Beth's too), my eyes go black and I turn into Janazilla.ME: THIS IS RIDICULOUS. OH, SURPRISE SURPRISE. Water is such a hot commodity in this POS place that people are STEALING IT LIKE PRECIOUS PAINTINGS. Beth: This should be illegal! Is this illegal? It should be illegal!!!Rachel (another friend in company who is now aware of situation): This is the land of Disney and Mickey Mouse! Disney lets people bring water, why don't your??!?!?! Me: I'm outraged. I'm really quite mad.Beth: I am too.Me: *lip quivers*
I'd like to go home now.fin.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A tribute to Dad
I haven't posted anything in a very long time, and I'm not likely to return to the snark today. My father passed away on June 6 after a battle with a brain tumor. I'm going to miss him every day, but it feels good to remember all the fun times we had... So for no other reason than to make myself feel happier/better, I'd like to share some photos from the past few years that we had together. Some of them are from our travels to Florence, Venice and Paris. Others are from U of M football Saturdays and my eventual graduation, as well as dinner parties and silly moments.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tom Cruise helps promote MTV Movie Awards: Pass
Anytime you're thinking to yourself... self, when did Tom Cruise get so weird?... just remember that once upon a time we made out with posters of him (boys too!) from Top Gun and that he really is a great actor, not to mention hilarious as Hollywood's roughest agent, Les Grossman. So you go ahead and be crazy Mr. Cruise--I have Jerry Maguire queued up on Hulu to keep me more than satisfied. Yeah, for once I didn't mention that other dude in the video..
Thursday, May 27, 2010
ETA Robert Pattinson balloon art: Too stupid to actually grade
This is to go along with the post below. Take a good long look at this balloon art because it is selling for $620 Euros on Ebay right here. Is that a lot in the world of Robert Pattinson collectibles? Maybe, maybe not. But it's scribbles. SCRIBBLES!
... "I want his scribbles. I want his SCRIBBLES. THEY ARE MINEEEEE!"If he had a decent bone in his body, clearly he would sell his underwear to fund the end of world hunger.Edward Cullen bust: Fail
For the mere price of $1,399 (or way more than that, because this IS Ebay...), you can have your VERY OWN LIFELIKE SILICONE BUST OF EDWARD CULLEN'S HEAD.
Really? Only $1,399? If it was a bust of his package it would cost way more. Check out the bidding page here, where all the photos are posted and you can see the detail. There are actual eyebrows and eyelashes inserted into the silicone, ladies and gentleman. That is how creepy this is.American Idol winner Lee DeWyze: Meh, probably a fail
Don't get me wrong. I actually enjoy the voice on Lee DeWyze. He reminds me a little of Brent Smith from Shinedown... and I love Shinedown.
But here's the thing... I've been watching Idol since the very first season with Kelly Clarkson. This is the only season where I actually lost interest at about the top 12 and stopped watching. Why? Because no one seemed that good. So anytime the judges were like "that was an amazing performance," I was turned off because it felt like they were lying to up their viewers. But I've been saying all along, interestingly enough, that the only two contestants that really stood a chance were the two that were in the finals, Lee and Crystal Bowersox. By all measures, Crystal is a better singer AND performer. She's more comfortable on stage, more reliable with pitch, and chose better songs for herself on average. Still, going into the final show (which I did watch because when I found out my two were in the final four I started watching the last few episodes...) I knew Crystal wouldn't win. She wouldn't win for the same reason that Adam Lambert and Bo Bice didn't win. Their primary markets just don't watch idol. So when push comes to shove, they just aren't going to stack up 1v1 in the voting. Sure, anyone could recognize her talent and want her to stick around until the end, but when it comes down to it they want to be buying the pop rock album in the end. They know they'll get that from Lee. He's basically going to be another Daughtry or David Cook. Frankly, Crystal is better off. When idols win and they don't fit the mold... they fall off the face of the market. Look at Taylor Hicks. Remember the Silver Fox? Yeah, I barely remember him too... because even though he was a stronger singer than Katharine McPhee and ended up winning, the audience wasn't the right market for him. He ended up turning to Broadway (where he did very well) and Katharine took his momentum for herself. Meanwhile, Adam Lambert is doing just fine and was probably able to negotiate a better contract for himself. So congrats to Lee. Condolences to Crystal. Hopefully now she'll be able to find the right contract, the right album, and the right marketing team to treat her music like it should be treated.... and if so, we haven't seen the last of MamaSox.
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